What Are Your Twenties, Anyway?

My last paycheck was for fifty dollars and I spent it on take out sushi. That was over a month ago. I’m addicted to Pinterest. I ended my Roth IRA because I needed to pay a medical bill. And I haven’t opened another one. I like hot weather. And always forget sunscreen. So, my nose […]

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Is the FBI agent assigned to my webcam tired of my bullshit or what?

The FBI agent assigned to my laptop must be tired of my sad ass. I can only imagine the sigh this homie releases when wearing into that front row seat of my double chin and my opening of iTunes like, “damn, this broad is REALLY watching ‘Lost in Translation’ again?!” And the answer is fuck […]

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Ed Razek. A man unknown to most, Ed Razek is responsible for many of the supermodel careers that only need one name for recognition: Tyra, Gisele, Heidi… the list goes on. He is the senior creative at Victoria’s Secret and the imagined hero in my personal fantasy, who was supposed to pluck me out of […]

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fall from grace

The pedestal crumbled from underneath me and I fell to the ground I hadn’t seen in years.   “ayo girl. U wanna model my new cloting line?”   The random Instagram “clothing designer” who undoubtedly printed his shirts off Café Press (and I ain’t knocking the hustle, so relax) slid into my DMs and shattered […]

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Medium

Hello, I apologize in advance for my horrible grammar. I know that upsets someone of your stature. You see, I read your article on Medium and while I don’t think it was particularly well written and it did, in fact, bore me to tears; it intimidated me enough to send me back to WordPress. I […]

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dating

Dating today is like trying to find a chunk of gold in a cesspool. Impossible? No. But you’re going to have to break through that nasty surface tension and sift through a lot of shit before you happen upon your little nugget of poop covered (everyone has baggage) happiness. And, let me tell you, the […]

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JAZZY WORLD TOUR

How is it always 3 am? WHY AM I LIKE THIS? I’ve reignited the dumpster fire, so protect your baby retinas out there. You’ll need some sunglasses for this spectacle and we’ll say its because my future is so bright. While I’m tired of being a mess, I’ve decided to take this circus on the […]

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