I can’t grasp the words right now. They are in my hands and I fumble with them until they drop like a flipped coin that slipped through the cracks of my fingers. Their fate is on the floor. I’m at a loss.
I never know what to write or where my voice should go. I ask for prompts. Stuff that bores me funnels in: travel, the model world, I don’t know… bugs? Its flustering. Its flustering to not know who you are and what you want to say because it could all change. Sometimes I’m THAT BITCH, you know what I mean? And other times, I’m just… the reserved girl at the back of the class who doesn’t talk but listens and silently smirks at the dumb shit people say and do.
Can I give you what you want? What DO YOU WANT?
“10 Reasons Why Sydney Is The Shit” I GOT YOU.
“Spiders Should Not Deter You From Coming Here” I GOT YOU.
“How My Heart Was Dissected and Tossed by the Hands of Some Quack Who Didn’t Know What He Was Doing” I. GOT. YOU.
“When Did I Become Someone Who Annoys Me?” Easy. I got you.
Do you want to laugh or do you want to cry? Do I want to laugh or do I want to cry?