There is no way I can catch you up on the past several years, so I’ll start in the now. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. At this moment, its 2:00 AM and I can’t sleep. My mind is racing from topic to topic, never allowing me a moment’s rest. Outwardly, I’m sure it looks as though I’m doing nothing. Below the surface, I’m turbid. I want things to happen so badly.
I gambled. My entire high school career (and before then), I was homed in on the Ivy League. My educators groomed me, grew frustrated with my rebellion, and tossed me aside. I was in extra curricular activities, played sports, was on the Executive Board of the Student Government, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be something different. I wanted something different. And I gambled. My path was more of a risk.
Now, here I am: balancing school work and a model life – the latter of which I want more, but the former of which is more secure. I went all in. The chips were piled against me and the odds are never in my favor, but I’m still at the table.